I used to sing this song as I pranced around my room imagining I was Snow White. I couldn’t wait for the day when animals spoke to me and prince charming saved me from my little cottage and rode away with me into the sunset.
We would live in a castle with birds chirping outside our window, and I would awaken to an appetizing breakfast spread filled with lots of carbs!
My closet would be filled with sequence gowns that I would wear around the house and my hot prince and I would attend the prestigious balls. We would forever be madly in love and give birth to 6 or 7 beautiful obedient children that ranked high on the IQ scale. Aww… and they never talked back! so adorable! Similar to a fairytale, my life would end happily ever after….
So, let’s take a look at my “real” life now!
I’m 27 years old, independent, works full time and pays for all my bills and expenses. I live in a suburb and drive a little eco-friendly car. I am in a relationship, but not yet married and kids are probably a few years away.
What happened to my fairytale life!
If you had parents like mine, they probably sugar-coated life extra thick! They said things like “you’re going to marry a rich Middle Eastern Sheikh and live in a gold mansion” or “you’re going to be a beautiful bride and wife with the cutest children”. I was also raised to have an unrealistic expectation of what marriage is.
Yes, marriage between two lovers can be magical, but it’s far from a fairytale. I’m sure you know that over 50% of marriages end up in divorce and no stats are available to how many of the married couples are unhappy.
Knowing what the true meaning of marriage is before committing will lead to a stronger, more successful outcome.
Having been in a relationship for a while now, I can definitely say that I’ve tasted big bites of what marriage has to offer.
I never knew that such a wide spectrum of emotions can arise from committing to a partner. One day I love him to reese’s pieces, and another day I have flashes of choking him!
It can be such a roller coaster in my head some days… I love him, he’s my favorite.. why is he talking to that hot girl! Aww, that was romantic! He’s the one! I want a divorce!
Ladies and gents.. I think I can speak for most of us when I say that these thoughts and emotions are normal. After being with someone for so long, you learn to take the good with the bad and here are a few pointers to keep in mind before putting that ring on your finger.
Relationships are beautiful but they’re hard work! Here are some of my own personal tips that can help keep your love strong.
- Communication is very important. Men and women are wired totally different and I’ll attest that I’m more sensitive than he is. I’ve learned that my partner is not a mind reader and that I need to show or tell him what I need and vise versa.
- Keeping your independence. I see many couples that revolve everything around their partners and lose touch of friends and hobbies that they once found exciting. My independence is very important to me. I make my own money, I have plenty of hobbies that I’m passionate about and make time for family and friends.
- No nagging! It’s easier to be negative than smile and be positive. I try my best to be positive 90% of the time, but he has to excuse me when my hormones kick in during that time of the month.
- He is not a project. If you think that you’re going to change your partner, then you’re in for a rocky roller coaster ride. Accepting your partner is key to being happy. Not expecting anything will never leave you disappointed
- Compromise. Love and relationships are about give and take. Even if I don’t understand and enjoy a game of golf, I’ll drive the cart and enjoy the sun!
- Trust. If you’re constantly on the prow to catch your partner talking to another person, or sneaking peaks at their emails, then you should not be in that relationship. You should be honest and faithful to one another. Plus, it’s not as stressful when you do. Stress leads to elevated cortisol which leads to belly fat!
- Finances. Many couples forget to discuss this before marriage leading to tension soon after the ceremony. My partner and I both work hard, so we choose to split our expenses together in half especially when dining out.
- Keep it fresh! Life can get monotonous and oh so boring, so make it a point too keep your relationship fresh. My partner and I love planning outdoor activities like a trip to the shore or mountains. An exotic dinner is always fun too! We love heading to China town and getting authentic Peking duck… mmmmm….
- Say I love you more. Sometimes we take for granted that our loved ones just assume how we feel about them, but a few words, kisses and hugs can make such a difference.
- Have fun! I like to think that my partner and I are still kids and this world is our playground. We laugh, joke and indulge in most things life has to offer. I appreciate both his friendship and company.
It’s normal that every relationship will experience its ups and downs, but learning how to truly love someone will make that experience just a little easier.
AT THE END OF THE DAY, I WOULD RATHER BE WITH MY BFF THAN A FAIRYTALE PRINCE.
Before I tie the knot, I would love to hear advice from my strong couples! Any advice and pointers are greatly appreciated.